


Unattainable

by bealovelylady



Series: PSC [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Anal Sex, Bodyguard, Come Eating, Crossdressing, Feelings Realization, Flirting, Hand Jobs, Idol AU, Intercrural Sex, Kissing, Lingerie, M/M, Power Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 01:02:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16075100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bealovelylady/pseuds/bealovelylady
Summary: She cleared her throat as she turned to her desk and shuffled papers around. “You’ve heard why you’re here?” She pulled out a packet of stapled papers and handed them over to him.“PSC?” he asked as he glanced over the papers. He’d heard the name somewhere before.“If you came in the front door, you couldn’t have missed the big poster of them. They’ve recently been gaining a lot more popularity outside of Korea, and they had their first world tour last year. With their rise in popularity comes a high rise in threats against them and fans planning to track them down or follow them around.”Ushijima could recall seeing a poster outside the large building he currently sat in, though he couldn’t recall anything but the name of the band. On the second page of the packet she’d given him were examples of fan comments and sites... it all sounded harmless until he thought about the fact that some of these fans would doanythingto be noticed by their idol.“We just want the members to be safe, and that’s where you come in.” Ushijima looked up and met Kiyoko’s eyes. “You came highly recommended,” she said with a smile.Pt. 2 of PSCIdol AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I apologize if this is rushed. I started a new job and haven’t had much time to write, so I’ve been trying to write everything short enough to finish in one or two sittings since it seems harder for me to stay invested in a story now /sweats
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this story :D

“Ushijima-san, right?” The door opened across the hallway and an attractive woman with long black hair and glasses peeked her head out. Ushijima stood and nodded, moving towards the door as she waved him inside her office and to a chair.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ushijima-san,” she spoke again after he’d taken a seat and folded his hands in his lap. “My name is Kiyoko Shimizu, and I’m one of the managers here.”

“Hello,” he said simply.

She cleared her throat as she turned to her desk and shuffled papers around. “You’ve heard why you’re here?” She pulled out a packet of stapled papers and handed them over to him. 

“PSC?” he asked as he glanced over the papers. He’d heard the name somewhere before. 

“If you came in the front door, you couldn’t have missed the big poster of them. They’ve recently been gaining a lot more popularity outside of Korea, and they had their first world tour last year. With their rise in popularity comes a high rise in threats against them and fans planning to track them down or follow them around.”

Ushijima could recall seeing a poster outside the large building he currently sat in, though he couldn’t recall anything but the name of the band. On the second page of the packet she’d given him were examples of fan comments and sites where people were planning to follow members home from concerts to hotels, to organize a group to meet them at the airports when they landed... it sounded harmless until he thought about the fact that some of these fans would do _anything_ to be noticed by their idol. 

“We just want the members to be safe, and so we’ve decided to hire a team of security personnel who will travel with them and make sure they aren’t harassed or attacked. And that’s where you come in.” Ushijima looked up and met Kiyoko’s eyes. “You came highly recommended,” she said with a smile. 

“Ahh,” was all he said to that. He had never been good at taking compliments. 

“The job should be fairly easy, and of course we will cover any and all expenses pertaining to traveling with the band. Do you drive?”

“Yes, I have my license.”

“Good. You’ll be needed to drive them from the studio back to their apartment. You’ll be provided housing in the same building as them, since the apartment next to theirs was available, and you’ll be able to watch over them 24/7. They’re good kids,” she added with a reassuring smile. “They shouldn’t cause you much trouble.”

“Am I the only security you’ve hired?”

Kiyoko waved her hand. “Of course not.” She picked up her phone’s handset and spoke into it. A few minutes later, a knock sounded on the door, and it opened when she called them in. A man who was probably about the same size as Ushijima walked in, and he beamed down at the other man. 

“This is Bokuto Koutaro, your partner if you decide to take the job. He came highly recommend as well.”

The man, Bokuto, puffed out his chest and grinned wide, sticking out his hand for Ushijima. “Nice to meet you, dude! You look like you could fight a semi truck,” he joked as he shook Ushijima’s hand. 

“All right,” said Ushijima, and Kiyoko stood with a wide smile. She walked around the desk and he stood as well, as she shook his hand and welcomed both of them to the team. 

“I’m sure you’ll come to really appreciate the members of PSC. They work really hard and are genuinely sweet boys.”

Walking beside Bokuto, he could tell now that the other was a bit shorter, but he was built more stocky. Ushijima was tall and wide due to his large frame, but Bokuto was wide due to his packed muscles. He hoped he would get along well with the other man, since they’d be working together and would need to trust one another. 

“Boys,” called Kiyoko as she stepped into a small room. Feet shuffled to a stop as Bokuto and Ushijima filed into the room behind her. Mirrors lined the walls and seven pairs of feet shuffled into a line with their backs to that wall. “I’ve brought your new security detail so you can meet them. Please be nice, but remember they are here to protect you, not to be your friends.”

Ushijima let his eyes roam over every member in turn, memorizing details about their faces as Kiyoko introduced them one by one. The last member gave Ushijima pause, his wicked smile and sparkling eyes capturing his attention like a magnet. He was wiping his face with his shirt and peering over the edge of his collar right back at Ushijima. 

Oikawa Tooru.

Arguably the prettiest member, Ushijima thought, but they were all very attractive in their own ways. Maybe Ushijima felt overwhelmed being in the same room as so many insanely attractive people, but he found himself staring straight at Oikawa as Kiyoko explained to the band what she’d told Ushijima earlier. 

“They’ll be with us everywhere?” asked a member with white hair, Semi, if Ushijima remembered correctly, 

“Yes, especially now with all of your promotions and your tour coming up in a few months. I suggest you all spend time together and learn to listen well to what they say.”

Oikawa was the first to step forward after Kiyoko excused herself back to her office. He sidled up to Ushijima and extended his hand to him. “Hi,” he said with a coy grin. 

Ushijima took his hand, slim and long, in his own. 

“I’m Oikawa Tooru.”

“Ushijima Wakatoshi,” he responded back methodically. He was about to release Oikawa’s hand when the other tightened his grip and pulled himself closer.

“Can I call you Ushi-chan?” he asked with a huge grin.

Ushijima frowned. “Please don’t.”

But Oikawa just kept smiling and said, “Okay, okay.” He released Ushijima’s hand and turned on his heel. Ushijima really tried not to, but he found his eyes following Oikawa’s figure anyways. 

He was glad when someone suggested they head home. They filled out, Oikawa finding his place just in front of Ushijima, walking confident, and when they got to the garage, Oikawa called shotgun next to Ushijima. The taller glanced over at Bokuto for help, but the white haired man was enamored by the one called Akaashi and happily climbed into the back with him. Ushijima sighed and let Oikawa clamber into the front seat of the large van that was designated for PSC. He closed the door when everyone else had climbed into the back and took his seat in the driver’s seat. He plugged in the address into the GPS and set off towards the band’s apartment and his new home. Most everyone was tired from practice, but Oikawa managed to keep Ushijima in a one-sided conversation. Sometimes Bokuto would chime in with something to say, but mostly Oikawa’s voice was the one filling the van’s silence.

Ushijima found he didn’t mind as much as he usually would. He gave Oikawa a side glance at a stop light and wondered if it was just because his voice was really pretty. 

The apartment was fairly close by the label’s main headquarters, and Ushijima was soon pulling the van into the parking deck below the tall rise building. Everyone shuffled out, Ushijima taking the front and Bokuto trailing behind the small group, eyes peeled. You needed a pass code to get into the garage and into the building, and most of the people who lived here were fellow celebrities or big name businessmen, so no one was too worried. 

Bokuto and Ushijima saw the group to their door and inside, before going down one door further to their new place. It was huge inside, almost empty and lonely, and Ushijima was glad that Bokuto and his big personality were there with him, making the space a little more bearable. 

Sleep refused to come to Ushijima that night, so he finally sat up with a sigh and pulled out his laptop. He connected it to the WiFi and plugged in his headphones. 

The search bar on the page blinked white, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, and finally he typed in three letters. Millions of results popped up, and he started with the top three. A Wikipedia page, an official band site, and the most popular fan site. Ushijima could have never imagined that there could be so much info on seven people out there. The fan site led him down a rabbit trail of pictures and YouTube videos. 

Now it was 3 in the morning and Ushijima was curled up around his laptop, enthralled by fan cams and compilation videos of none other than Oikawa Tooru. Ushijima closed his eyes and let Oikawa’s voice rattle around pleasantly in his ear drums and brain. He could picture the man with his eyes closed now, and he thought maybe that was a bad sign, but there was something about Oikawa that pulled him in. 

Well, he was an idol. It was his job, Ushijima told himself as he finally fell asleep to Oikawa’s bell-like laughter in his ears.

x

A soft knock sounded on the door to Ushijima and Bokuto’s new apartment. Bokuto was listening to music in his room, so Ushijima stood to answer the door. A peek through the peephole showed him a mop of brown hair. He was used to the sight by now, as Oikawa liked to come over every day or so with this excuse or that. Ushijima was surprised with how friendly Oikawa was with him. He’d come over the first day to deliver handmade cookies, and he’d put a hand over Ushijima’s arm before heading out. 

“Oikawa-san,” Ushijima greeted when he opened the door. Oikawa stood with a hip cocked and clicked his tongue. 

“I told you to drop the honorific and call me Tooru, Ushi-chan.” Despite Ushijima’s objection to the nickname, it seemed to have stuck anyways. Oikawa walked himself in, his hand skirting up Ushijima’s shoulder and dropping down his arm in a very Oikawa-like greeting. 

“Did you need something?” Ushijima asked patiently as he closed the door, following Oikawa into the kitchen. The brunet took a seat at the kitchen table and Ushijima moved to stand near him. 

“I wanted to talk about the tour, since it’s coming up soon,” Oikawa said as he pushed a chair out for Ushijima with his feet. Ushijima sat obediently. 

“Kiyoko has given us our training-“ Ushijima began, confused, but Oikawa cut him off. 

“I wanted to show you some of the messages we’ve been receiving lately on our Instagrams and Twitters,” Oikawa explained as he leaned forward, laying his phone down for Ushijima to see. The taller leaned in closer, found a series of photos waiting for him, screenshots of messages and comments. Oikawa clicked on the first photo and then pulled his hand back just enough for Ushijima to see the screen fully. He sat close, huddled forward, but Ushijima’s focus was on the phone. 

“Most of these are directed at you,” he said worriedly. It seemed innocent until he noticed the pattern. The same few usernames kept popping up, and the wording became more possessive as time went on. One account in particular seemed very determined to get Oikawa’s attention, to let him know the user would be waiting for him, practically stalking him during the tour. Ushijima frowned. 

Oikawa sat back for a moment, silent, his eyes on Ushijima. He worked his mouth and crossed his arms. 

“Have you told Kiyoko?” Ushijima finally asked.

“There’s nothing she can do about it; I mean, she monitors our social media accounts. I don’t know if she’s spotted the pattern, but there are tons more out there like this person.” Oikawa gestured to his phone. “I’m just... a little worried.”

“Well, of course you are,” Ushijima nodded. “That’s why Bokuto and I were hired.”

Oikawa charged forward suddenly, standing up and pressing his knee to the edge of Ushijima’s chair, leaning forward and clutching his hands at the back of the chair. “I’m so glad, because I feel so much safer with you here.”

Ushijima blinked, confused by Oikawa’s proximity. “Our job is to keep all seven of you safe,” he explained calmly. He wasn’t sure why Oikawa was specifically coming to him about this issue; Ushijima had to protect everyone equally, and usually Kiyoko was the one who kept the two of them up to date on threats or potential crazies. 

“Yeah, but I just wanted to let you know-“ Oikawa paused for a moment. “I’ll be counting on you a lot, and I hope you’re ready to have me stick to your side like glue.” He let out a small chuckle, his dark eyes not matching his light tone. 

“Oikawa-san, I-“

Oikawa leaned closer still, and Ushijima could smell his fragrance now. His downy soft hair shifted as he moved closer. “Ushi-chan, it’s weird when you call me like that.”

“Oikawa,” Ushijima tried again, his hand coming up to create some distance between the two of them. He felt a little uncomfortable, but mostly confused. He’d done enough of his investigation into the band’s social media platforms to come to adopt the mentality that these boys were untouchable, were to be revered and held in the highest esteem. Even he, who worked with them, lived next door to them, couldn’t touch them. 

Oikawa’s attitude made it hard to remember, when he acted overly familiar or spoke in a low voice, when he called Ushijima’s name and gazed at him with dark eyes, when he let his body and touch linger. But Oikawa was just like that, Ushijima had finally understood. It wasn’t anything special to do with him, it was just Oikawa being Oikawa. But that didn’t mean that Oikawa didn’t affect him when he did these things, however innocent they were to Oikawa.

Oikawa grabbed Ushijima’s hand and pressed it harshly to his side, moved it down to his hip and locked the hand in place against his hip bone. Ushijima was too stunned to pull away; he could have done it easily, but he was frozen, eyes wide. 

“Ushi-chan, I trust only you to keep me safe,” Oikawa breathed low and hot against Ushijima’s cheek. Ushijima tilted his chin up to try to gauge Oikawa’s expression, but that was a mistake. 

Soft lips pressed against his own, calm for a split second before Oikawa tilted his head and deepened the kiss hungrily. He slid his tongue in and squeezed his fingers between Ushijima’s, gripped his hand tight. Ushijima’s fingers flexed in surprise and he gripped at Oikawa’s hip tightly. 

Oikawa pulled back with a wet pop and wiped a finger over his lips, licking it clean as he stood up straight. Ushijima sat dazed in his chair, eyes refusing to focus on the man before him. Oikawa scooped up his phone and quietly exited the apartment with no explanation, leaving Ushijima to conjure up his own excuses for the kiss. 

x

The suit felt uncomfortable, but he and Bokuto had to look the part as they escorted PSC through the airport and to their flights. Their first stop was Japan, and Ushijima could see the crowd of people before they’d even cleared the top half of the escalator. He was at the front, Oikawa and Kageyama beside him, close, then Kenma, Semi, and Sugawara in the middle, Daichi walking on the other side just a little behind Suga, and taking up the rear were Shirabu and Akaashi, Bokuto on the opposite side of the circle form Ushijima, hand hovering or just below Akaashi’s elbow as they walked. Caps and sunglasses were pulled on, but no one was fooled. The screams began as soon as Oikawa’s hair popped into view. 

“Stay close,” hushed Ushijima as they stepped off the escalator in uniform, all 10 of them moving like one unit. Young girls pressed against the barricades and policemen set up, reaching to touch, hands extended with gifts and signs. PSC has been instructed to walk past quietly and not engage, though this was hard for some of them to do with so many voices screaming their names desperately. Ushijima wasn’t sure if anything could have prepared him for the actuality of this. He heard so many voices yell out Oikawa’s name and he was reminded of how far away the brunet actually was from his reach. 

This wasn’t the time, Ushijima thought as he trained his eyes on the hoards of fans, his dark eyes scanning the crowds behind dark sunglasses. No one was focused on him, everyone’s eyes on the band members, but he felt still like someone was watching him, staring. He tried to find the source of the feeling, but saw nothing. 

There was a high scream of Semi’s name, and suddenly one girl slid between the legs of the policemen, low to the ground. If it wasn’t for her scream, Ushijima might have missed her. She shot up once she was past the barricade and bolted straight for the small circle. Reflexively, the circle tightened and froze. 

Ushijima stepped one foot out and with his broad body covered the band, arms extended to catch the girl as she barreled towards them. Something gripped at the back of his jacket for a second, reminded him why he was doing this, helped him react quickly enough when the girl made eye contact with him and bolted to his left. He pushed off with his foot and caught her just before her outreached arms closed around Kenma’s arm. A police officer ran over as Ushijima turned her away from the band and held her firmly back, until her hands were closed in handcuffs and she was escorted off, screaming for attention still. Ushijima did a sweep of the crowd as he moved back to his position. He cast a glance back, his eyes meeting with Oikawa’s, and he felt another tug at his sleeve. It was Oikawa, his face white but eyes sure on him, so trusting on Ushijima, and the guard realized that the gaze he’d felt on him before had been Oikawa all along. He peeled his eyes away from Oikawa and glanced at Bokuto and Daichi, who both gave small nods, a silent agreement to move a little faster to avoid a repeat. 

They made it to the vans with no more incidents, the group splitting into two, a predetermined split as they moved into their assigned cars. Ushijima was the last to slide into the van, shutting the door behind him, and he found himself sitting right next to Oikawa. Everyone was silent as the van started up and pulled out, the driver hired from a local security company, and Ushijima let out a silent sigh of relief. Oikawa, too, seemed to slowly relax next to him, but the grip he had on Ushijima’s jacket didn’t release. Instead he slid his hand down and around his arm, pressed his fingers softly to Ushijima’s palm, his own palm resting against Ushijima’s wrist, the gesture hidden by their close-pressed bodies. Oikawa pulled his glasses off with his free hand and leaned his head towards Ushijima’s shoulder, though not touching, his eyes peering up at the other. There was an instinct to take Oikawa’s hand fully in his own, to reach up and assure that the brunet was okay, but Ushijima didn’t have those permissions. He was acutely aware of the fact that Oikawa was not his friend, but someone he was hired to protect; this was his only connection to the man. He knew it, he knew it, but his reality didn’t match with what he knew. 

Oikawa was too close, too familiar, but it was just Oikawa being Oikawa. Ushijima was at fault for reading too much into it. 

x

The first four concerts went off without a hitch, and they had just landed and settled in in Los Angeles. PSC’s next show was tomorrow evening, but tonight they had an appearance on a popular late night TV show. After a quick shower, Ushijima met up with Bokuto again and the two went to knock on the big suit door where the band was staying. Akaashi answered the door, Bokuto greeting him enthusiastically, and the two moved into the room. 

Semi and Kageyama were still getting dressed, and Ushijima scanned the room as he waited by the door, arms crossed in front of him. He was glad to be wearing something more comfortable now, track pants and a long sleeve shirt, sneakers on his feet. 

Brown eyes caught his and Oikawa motioned him over, moving into a back bedroom. Ushijima cast a glance at Bokuto, but the other was wrapped up in Akaashi and no one else was paying him or Oikawa any attention. He moved across the hotel room and walked into the back room. Oikawa closed the door behind him, shocking Ushijima enough to make him spin around on his heel. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked automatically. 

Oikawa wordlessly handed over his phone to Ushijima, moving next to pace across the small room. Ushijima’s eyes scanned over the phone screen. It was a private message, still unaccepted by Oikawa, but Ushijima recognized the username immediately. He automatically hit the decline message request button and locked the phone. Oikawa’s eyes darted furtively to his face and the other gnawed at his lip. Ushijima stepped up to him and gently grabbed his chin. “Don’t do that,” he said quietly. 

Oikawa pressed his lips together and stared up at Ushijima, and Ushijima wondered how he looked in Oikawa’s eyes. He could tell Oikawa was worried about the message, about the fact that the sender said they would be at the taping for the show tonight and the concert tomorrow, that they had a gift for him. 

“Ushijima,” Oikawa whispered. 

Ushijima thought he could tell Oikawa not to be worried, he could tell Oikawa things he already knew, like that Ushijima and Bokuto were paid to protect them, that there would be other security. But that’s not what Ushijima thought Oikawa wanted to hear, what he wanted to say to the brunet. 

“I’ll keep you safe, Oikawa.”

The brunet blinked wide up at Ushijima and he clenched his hands at Ushijima’s shirt sleeves. “I don’t mean that I’m the only one- I know you’re here to protect all of us.”

“Yeah, I am,” Ushijima said simply, his tone sure and steady. He wanted to reassure Oikawa. “I’m here to protect you and everyone else. But right now I want to keep you safe.”

Oikawa’s hands tightened again. “Having you there makes me feel the safest.” His eyes shot up to Ushijima’s, and he whispered, “Do you get it, Ushijima? That you make me feel safe.”

Oikawa was stretching up in his toes and curling an arm around Ushijima’s neck before the other could even blink. He leaned in and Ushijima shut his eyes, expecting a kiss, but instead of to his lips, Oikawa’s soft mouth pressed to his cheek. The other pulled away with a shaky sigh. He nodded to Ushijima and then moved to turn away, but Ushijima caught him just before, turning him back. 

“I swear, Oikawa. Please don’t worry about a thing - worrying about your safety is my job. Just smile like you always do-“ 

Oikawa turned back and beamed wide. “Thanks, Ushi-chan.”

It was unsettling to watch Oikawa walk away and out of the room, but Ushijima couldn’t pin point why. 

x

Ushijima watched it happen like it was slow motion. Someone threw something up and across the stage and he watched it hit Oikawa right in the knee. He hobbled for a moment, and then continued on dancing, but Ushijima had stood backstage at enough of PSC’s concerts now to know that Oikawa was no longer at his best. During the break in the middle of the show, usually reserved for water and an outfit change, Oikawa walked out until he was out of sight of the crowd and then he collapsed against Semi, who barely caught him in time. Ushijima rushed over and scooped Oikawa up, practically running him to the dressing rooms where a first aid kit was. 

Oikawa was actually laughing until Ushijima sat him down and cut his pant leg. A nasty gash was leaking blood and Oikawa’s shin was bruising badly, and when Oikawa looked down at it, he began to cry. 

“How badly does it hurt?” Ushijima asked worriedly. He didn’t think anything was broken, but he was also scared to touch it at all. But he had to clean it off, so after Oikawa sniffled out an unconvincing, “‘s okay,” Ushijima poured some alcohol over the wound to clean it. Oikawa screamed and grabbed hard at Ushijima’s shoulder, the other apologizing as he slowly began wiping away blood with gauze.

He somehow managed to patch up the wound and wrap Oikawa’s leg. 

“You can’t go on again,” Ushijima said as he looked up at Oikawa. He knew what expression he was going to find before his eyes met Oikawa’s, but that didn’t mean he liked it any less.

“We’ve still got half a show. I have to go back out.”

“You can’t dance on this leg, let alone stand!”

“I can’t let the crazy person who threw that thing at me win! I have to show my fans- our fans-“

Ushijima stood up like he could block Oikawa from leaving, but the other stood up too, the two almost chest to chest. Oikawa was so close that Ushijima could smell him, see the determination in his eyes. 

“I feel better,” Oikawa said.

“You need stitches,” countered Ushijima.

“I can get them afterwards. My leg won’t fall off.”

“But you could cause more damage!”

Oikawa went eerily silent, his eyes on Ushijima. He pressed a hand flat against Ushijima’s chest and set his mouth in a tight line. “Ushijima,” Oikawa breathed, and Ushijima knew he’d already lost. “I need to do this.”

Ushijima was silent. 

“I want to. I owe it to every other fan out there, who paid to see us, who’ve been waiting.” 

Ushijima frowned, turning his eyes away.

When Oikawa chuckled, olive eyes darted back to his face. “I mean, I wouldn’t be Oikawa Tooru if I let this stop me.”

Those words, more than anything else, made Ushijima step back and aside. He knew. He knew he couldn’t actually stop Oikawa, knew that it was a disservice to try. Because Oikawa was strong, and he was stubborn, determined to see everything through. 

Ushijima pressed a hand to his racing heart. “Yeah,” he said, plain, simple. Oikawa caressed his cheek with a soft murmur of, “Thank you, Ushi-chan.”

“Just be there to catch me when the show is done,” Oikawa said with a grin, and then he was out the door like nothing was even wrong. 

Ushijima felt instantly angry at himself and hopeful that Oikawa would make it through the rest of the show. If he would take it a little easier... but that was asking a lot.

And at the end of the night, Ushijima was indeed there to catch Oikawa, who fell into his arms with a pained sigh. Ushijima scooped him up again and this time Oikawa wrapped his arms around Ushijima’s neck and pressed his sweaty face into the taller man’s thick neck. 

“Why don’t you take him to the hospital to get his leg looked at,” Daichi suggested as he walked over. “Bokuto and I will take the others back to the hotel.”

Ushijima looked over the rest of the worried band members and Bokuto and slowly nodded. 

“I’ll let you know-“ he began, but he didn’t know what to really say, so he let the words fall into silence and turned to head for the back door. One of the vans was waiting, and Ushijima set Oikawa in the passenger seat before circling around to the driver’s side. As soon as he was seated and buckled in, Oikawa leaned over into his lap and clutched at his thigh. Ushijima hovered his hand for a second before burying it reassuringly in soft brown locks. 

He drove as fast as legally possible to the hospital. 

x

Oikawa had at some point grabbed hold of Ushijima’s hand as they sat waiting in the hospital, and he hadn’t let go of it yet. Ushijima watched as the nurse cleaned and stitched his wound, watched as Oikawa tried to keep on his brave face even as his eyes watered a little, and Ushijima found his grip on Oikawa’s hand tightening ever so slowly. 

It was painful. The dull ache he’d experienced around Oikawa before was now a violent storm inside his chest, and he felt so lost with all of his emotions. He was sad Oikawa was hurt, but glad it wasn’t a worse injury. He hated to see Oikawa like this but was so happy to be by his side and offering comfort. 

Oikawa, a man, an idol, brutally honest and intensely adorable, was giving Ushijima feelings he’d never known before. Looking at Oikawa, he could imagine what the feelings might be, but he’d never experienced them so intensely before. With a wry smile, he thought that he never could have guessed that he’d fall so hard for a man. But Oikawa wasn’t just any man, was he?

“You okay?” Ushijima asked quietly now after the nurse had left to get Oikawa some medicine and file his paperwork. 

Oikawa’s beautiful brown eyes moved to Ushijima’s face and he smiled softly, squeezing Ushijima’s hand as he said, “Yeah.”

Oikawa cast his eyes down after a moment of silence, Ushijima really unsure of what to say, and slowly he maneuvered his hand and fingers until they were interlocked with Ushijima’s. The taller man glanced down in surprise, and he heard Oikawa sigh softly. 

“Thank you, Ushijima,” Oikawa said, and Ushijima turned his eyes up to the other.

“For what?”

“For being here, for this,” he replied as he squeezed Ushijima’s hand again. “For letting me finish out the show. For being there to catch me at the end.”

Ushijima cast his eyes down to their joined hands again and went silent. After a long pause, Oikawa called out cautiously, “Ushi-chan?”

“I’ll always-“ Ushijima began, voice soft but sure. “As long as you want me to, I’ll always be here.”

“Ushi-ch-?” Oikawa began, confusion coloring his words, his voice falling quiet when Ushijima snapped his intense eyes upward. Oikawa’s mouth formed around silent words, but just then, the door opened and the nurse came back with a wheelchair and a paper bag of medicine. Oikawa and Ushijima slowly pulled away and turned towards her. The space had never felt greater between them, and Ushijima wondered if he’d overstepped. 

When he finally had to let go of Oikawa’s hand to help him into the wheelchair and push him out of the building, his hand felt cold and lonely. He didn’t realize that it was possible to grow so attached to holding one body part in the span of a few hours, but he missed Oikawa’s hand in his. He helped Oikawa back into the van in the dark and quiet parking lot, and he was about to turn away and shut the door when Oikawa gripped fiercely at his shirt. Olive eyes turned back to Oikawa, whose own eyes were lit with a fire. 

“Did you mean it?” he asked calmly, voice low and too steady. 

Ushijima was confused for a moment, until he remembered his last words to Oikawa. “Yeah,” he breathed. 

Oikawa nodded slowly, his eyes not any less intense as he slowly released Ushijima’s shirt and let the other man shut the door and walk to the driver’s side of the car. Ushijima’s lips tingled, his whole body pulling like a magnet to Oikawa, and he had to take a moment to settle himself before getting into the van. 

Oikawa was... unattainable. The best he could ever hope for was this, he reminded himself, and with that, he climbed into the vehicle. 

Oikawa had other thoughts in mind, however. The moment Ushijima shut his door, he felt a hand press hard to his thigh as Oikawa leaned his body close to Ushijima’s. With a shock, Ushijima turned to warn Oikawa to be careful of his wound, but now his face was so close to the other’s that the words slipped silently from his lips, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide in surprise. Oikawa was intense and so close, Ushijima didn’t think he could remember how to breathe. 

Oikawa was beautiful. 

They sat frozen like that for what felt like an insanely long time, so close that Ushijima just wanted to break the moment with a violent kiss, even if his sanity warned him not to indulge. Because indulging meant he’d never be free of the curse Oikawa had put on him. 

It was Oikawa who broke the silence first. “Ushi-chan,” he breathed low, seductive. Ushijima let out a heavy breath and Oikawa’s eyes dropped for a moment to his lips. When they came back up to meet Ushijima’s gaze, they were alive with passion and desire. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?” he asked, voice husky and insanely attractive. 

God, he wanted to so badly. Oikawa’s hand shifted a little on his thigh and he shivered. 

“Ushi-chan, don’t you get it yet?” Oikawa’s voice was low and soft, almost desperate for Ushijima to understand something. Was it his imagination? Was he dreaming? Did Oikawa really...?

“Oikawa,” Ushijima breathed out carefully, afraid to disturb the fragile tension between them. “Would you like me... to kiss you?”

Oikawa’s eyelids fluttered in something like annoyance, and he huffed, hot breath over Ushijima’s lips. “Of course I do, stupid!” he cried, a whine to his words. “I’ve been wanting that for ages!”

In one fluid movement, Ushijima cupped Oikawa’s cheek with one hand and leaned in to capture his lips with his own. He closed his eyes and light exploded behind them as his lips formed perfectly to Oikawa’s lush mouth. The other breathed a sigh of relief against Ushijima’s lips like he’d been parched and granted water for the first time. 

Fingers tightened on his thigh and Ushijima freed his other hand from the seat to cover Oikawa’s hip. A soft sigh against his lips and then Ushijima angled his head and pressed deeper. Oikawa’s tongue flicked out in response, and it seemed like the other was just as eager as Ushijima was. A spark lit bright in his gut and he thought now that it was already too late for him. 

Oikawa’s skin was insanely soft under his fingertips, his jaw bone sharp and pronounced as he caressed at it, his cheek soft and malleable. He tasted like something really sweet and delicious. Oikawa sighed again into Ushijima’s mouth, a hand coming up to curl into his shirt and pull him closer. 

Minutes bled into hours, probably, and Ushijima never wanted this kiss to end. With a flutter of eyelashes against Ushijima’s cheek, Oikawa pulled away slowly, just enough so intense brown could meet blown black pupils. 

“Do you get it now?” Oikawa whispered heatedly. 

Ushijima traced Oikawa’s plump lower lip with his thumb. “You should say it clearly just in case I’m dreaming this all up,” Ushijima said back. 

Oikawa smiled, wide and bright then, and he nuzzled into Ushijima’s big hand. He pressed a soft kiss there and grinned. “Ushijima, you idiot, I really like you. I love you.”

Ushijima’s heart stopped for a moment and then thundered back to life, slamming hard in his chest. When Oikawa’s eyes opened again and he was met with his intense stare, he shivered with a frantic need to hold Oikawa tight. 

“It took you way too long to get it, Ushi-baka,” Oikawa pouted. “Whatever you think of me in your head, I’m just a man. A very gay man, who’s very gay for you.” His crooked smile was illegal and his head tilt and half-lidded eyes even more so. Ushijima breathed him in, drank in the vision of Oikawa before him. 

“Oikawa, love you,” he breathed out way too quickly, too quietly, but Oikawa caught it, and his smile widened even more. Ushijima felt the press of his cheek against the palm of his hands and god, he loved this man. He was so far gone, wasn’t he? Already - ten minutes in to whatever this thing right now was and Ushijima was already chained completely to Oikawa. 

Oikawa giggled then, shifted in his seat until his good leg was curled underneath him and he was leaning fully into Ushijima. His eyes sparkled and then he breathed out, low, lusty, needy, “Kiss me again, baby.”

Ushijima obeyed immediately, already whipped, and he savored Oikawa intensely. Their lips were restless against each other, moving together, tongues licking over puffy lips and slick teeth, curling around each other. Oikawa grabbed around Ushijima’s neck and Ushijima carefully pulled Oikawa’s hips closer. He towered over Ushijima as he sat up on his knee and leaned his whole body into Ushijima’s. Something hard pressed against Ushijima’s chest but he ignored it in favor of Oikawa’s lips. 

When they parted, Oikawa silently shuffled into his seat and buckled in, and they shared a wordless look of passion that shouldn’t be fulfilled in the front seat of a company van. Ushijima ushered Oikawa back to the hotel in his wheelchair, and Oikawa pressed a twenty into Bokuto’s hand when they walked into the room he and Ushijima shared. 

“Go take Akaashi on a vending machine date,” Oikawa ordered gruffly, and Bokuto didn’t even pause to take in the wet eyes and bulging pants and desperation saturating their surroundings, took off with a cheery, “Thanks!”

Ushijima scooped Oikawa up and walked them to his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

“You two are gross,” Kageyama said with a crinkled nose as Ushijima swept Oikawa up in his arms. It was the end of their last world tour concert, and Oikawa’s leg had long ago healed, but Ushijima had grown used to pampering Oikawa and the other had zero objections to being pampered. If they’d ever thought to hide their relationship from the group, it had been dashed as soon as Kenma had seen them when Ushijima had wheeled Oikawa back to his room that night after the hospital, and he’d smirked and said, “About time.”

Kageyama had bemoaned and said something about, “Is everyone around me gay?!” Bokuto had looked up with wide eyes and ideas forming, Akaashi beside him but looking disinterested and tired of it all. 

Oikawa caught Kageyama’s eye now and then gave Ushijima a big smooch, causing Kageyama to give fake gags and make weird faces as he stomped off, Oikawa giggling evilly. 

“Hey, maybe-“ Ushijima whispered worriedly, but Oikawa looked back at him and grinned. 

“He’s fine. He’s a little dramatic is all.” He smiled like an angel and Ushijima nodded, entranced. Oikawa kissed him again before hopping out of his arms. Behind Ushijima, the chants and cheers still called for PSC, and he was struck with a small existential moment, watching Oikawa walk away as he pressed a hand to his just-kissed lips. He smiled into his hand and moved to follow after Oikawa and the rest of the band. 

x

“Wait-!” squealed Oikawa as Ushijima ran his lathered hands down Oikawa’s wet, slippery limbs. The taller was currently soaping up Oikawa’s armpits and washing them, the other squirming and giggling. “It’s ticklish, Toshi!”

Ushijima was smiling softly to himself, admiring the way Oikawa’s skin was so soft, how it glistened with pearls of water under the low light of the hotel bathroom light. “Hey,” he husked, gripping Oikawa’s chin. The other shuddered as they locked eyes and Oikawa’s smile grew steadier. 

“Hey,” he said back in his beautiful voice, and Ushijima smiled a little wider. Sometimes, if he thought about it, he realized how lucky he really was. 

Ushijima leaned down closer, lips only a hair’s breath apart. “You’re beautiful, Oikawa.”

The other actually blushed, but he didn’t pull away. He wrapped his arms instead around Ushijima’s neck and smiled wide. 

“I can tell exactly what you’re thinking, you know,” he said with a lopsided smile. 

“And what’s that?” asked Ushijima as he cocked his eyebrow.

Oikawa tilted his head and softened his voice. “You think you’re lucky to have me, but I think it’s the other way around.” He let his words sink in, massaging the tips of his fingers over Ushijima’s scalp and combing through his short hairs. “Thanks, Wakatoshi.”

“For what?” he blinked and asked in confusion. His only response was a slow, deep kiss from Oikawa, and he accepted it as answer enough. 

After Ushijima had worn out Oikawa in the shower and washed his body again, he carried his boyfriend to the bed. The hotel room was quiet, Bokuto spending his time in the PSC suite, and Oikawa crawled into Ushijima’s lap after he sat down against the headboard of the bed, snuggling against his chest as best as his long body would allow. He wore only a hotel bathrobe, Ushijima in boxers after their shower. He ran a finger over the small bumps on Oikawa’s knee where the stitches had been, a mindless thing at this point. 

The two had really come to appreciate these quiet moments, just the two of them, away from all the noise and shouting, the needy fans and the “on” persona. Ushijima loved Oikawa like this, cuddly and wanting affection, tired and relaxed finally. He wrapped his free arm around Oikawa’s slim waist and kissed his temple, pressing his nose into soft, brown locks. Oikawa was always pretty, but he was the most beautiful like this, unstyled hair soft as clouds, eyes sleepy, and smile soft.

Oikawa looked up at Ushijima through long, thick lashes, and there was a distinct thump of his heart. He gave a wobbly smile back, to which Oikawa giggled. The sound was musical as he leaned up and then it was cut off as he closed his lips against Ushijima’s. Hands tightened on soft skin and warmth increased between them, and Ushijima felt himself melt against the bed. Kissing Oikawa always effectively turned him to useless jelly, and he loved it so much. 

“Hey, let’s have sex, Toshi.” Oikawa pulled back only a few centimeters and breathed the words over Ushijima’s lips.

“But your knee-“

“It’s fine.”

“You should get some rest-“

Oikawa sat up, crossed his arms and pouted. “You make it sound like you don’t want to have sex with me, Wakatoshi-chan.”

“No-!” yelped Ushijima. He pulled Oikawa’s hips closer. “Definitely not! I really want to!”

Oikawa smiled softly and melted against Ushijima’s broad chest again. “You just don’t want to hurt me, right?”

Ushijima nodded slowly. “Sorry-“

Oikawa let out a heated breath before grabbing Ushijima’s hand, big and rugged, and pressed it to his groin. In a breathy shudder, he whispered, “At least take care of this here for me, Toshi~”

Ushijima felt his whole body react as his palm pressed against the hard heat between Oikawa’s legs. The smaller male let out a needy whine, and between that and his own erection and lust, he couldn’t deny the other man anymore. He carefully undid Oikawa’s robe, slid it off slim, sexy shoulders, Oikawa rolling with his hands in sultry movements. The robe fell away and revealed Oikawa’s perfect body, skin absolutely beautiful and the whole picture of him breathtaking. His cock twitched against his flat stomach and it was gorgeous. Ushijima bit his lip, unsuccessfully hiding a smile. 

Oikawa ran his hands into Ushijima’s short hair and breathed low and long as Ushijima stared at him, as he blindly moved his hands to free his cock from his boxer briefs. There was a short gasp and then the breathiest sigh as Oikawa looked down at Ushijima’s lap, and olive eyes flickered up to his beautiful face. 

“Tooru,” he breathed, and chocolate eyes instantly snapped up to his. “Beautiful,” he breathed out as he pulled Oikawa to his lips, so in love, so grateful, so wanting all of this precious man on his lap. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Oikawa crooned into his mouth and pressed against Ushijima’s hand, needy as much as the other was. 

When Ushijima wrapped his large hand around both of their cocks, there was a high whine from Oikawa as he tossed his head back, and Ushijima caught his lips on his chin. He kissed him and moved down to his neck, to his Adam’s apple, to his collarbones. The sounds that Oikawa was producing were sending shivers down Ushijima’s spine, delicious shivers, and he gripped around Oikawa’s waist as he rubbed his hands slow and deliberate over their hardnesses. Oikawa was leaking both pre-cum and beautiful noises, and Ushijima wanted to drink it all up. 

When Oikawa dropped his head back down and angled it, nuzzling against his cheek until Ushijima turned his face and their lips met. Slim arms wrapped around his thick neck and Ushijima opened his eyes, drinking in the vision of Oikawa, blissed out on what Ushijima was doing to him. 

“Love you,” he husked against wet lips, Oikawa giving only a non-verbal needy moan that Ushijima drank up whole. There was a high sound that sounded a lot like, “Love you too” and Ushijima smiled into the kiss, deepening it. 

With a high keen, Oikawa came wet all over Ushijima’s hand and his own cock, his hips trembling and jolting back and forth. He let out one last, long mewl and sank against Ushijima’s shoulder, and that did it for the other, cumming with a low grunt that made Oikawa whimper so cutely. 

Ushijima carefully let their cocks go and Oikawa sleepily took Ushijima’s hand and began licking it clean. The other was too shocked and aroused by the sight of it to stop his boyfriend, and by the time his mind stuttered back to life, Oikawa was sighing happily and pulling Ushijima’s hand back around to the small of his back. He cuddled against his broad chest and Ushijima was left to just smile blissfully into Oikawa’s soft hair. 

He thought Oikawa had fallen asleep until there was a wetness on his shoulder, and he let out a noise of surprise. “Are you in pain?” he asked worriedly as he cupped Oikawa’s knee, rubbed gently at it. But Oikawa’s floof of hair shook. 

“I’m just-“ he whispered emotionally, pausing to catch a shuddering breath. “I just can’t believe that I got so lucky.”

Ushijima cocked his head in question, waited for the other to continue.

“I just love you so much,” Oikawa finally said with a small laugh and sigh. “I feel so lucky to have you as my own.”

That statement sent an overwhelming feeling through Ushijima’s body, and the only thing he could do in response was pull Oikawa close and kiss his hair. He pulled the covers over them and Oikawa easily curled against him, and they fell asleep like that. 

Ushijima thought there was nothing more like perfection than this. 

x

Dating Oikawa was even more nerve-wracking than being in denial about his crush. His job became suddenly harder. The more he wanted to protect Oikawa, the more he realized he needed to protect the other members of the band just as much. He was far too thankful when they were finally on the last flight, headed back home. They had a long row of seats to themselves inside the jumbo jet, Ushijima near the aisle on the left, Oikawa and Kageyama beside him, then Semi, Kenma, Daichi, and Suga, and finally Bokuto, Akaashi, and Shirabu. 

Two hours in, the cabin dark, Bokuto was snoozing on Akaashi’s shoulder, and Ushijima thought that was a massive improvement for Akaashi when he didn’t push Bokuto off. Daichi and Suga thought they were being super sneaky as they held hands under a shared blanket, and everyone else was dead asleep. Kageyama was drooling on the window, dead to the world. Oikawa snorted under his breath and poked playfully at the other’s cheek until Ushijima distracted him with a low whisper of his name. 

He turned, eyes eager and lips grinning. “What’s up, handsome?” he whispered back.

“I just thought you should also try to get some rest,” Ushijima said simply. He was sure Oikawa had been the only one who’d ever recognized this as worry, which it was.

“I’d rather just talk to you. We can hold hands or snuggle a little.”

Ushijima’s face went pale. “Not in a public place!” he gushed fiercely.

Oikawa pouted and then he giggled. “If I pretend to fall asleep, can I sleep on your shoulder like Bokuto’s doing?”

Ushijima’s silence was enough of an answer for Oikawa. He quietly snuck his hand down under their arm seat and lifted it, scooching a little closer to Ushijima. He leaned up and husked, “Hey, Ushijima. You know that I love you, right?”

Ushijima pressed his lips together, closed his eyes as he tried not to show how much those words effected him. Oikawa ploughed on.

“God, it’s been so long. I can’t wait to get home. I want you to wreck me.” He licked at his lips then and shifted in his seat. A small breathy moan, barely audible even to Ushijima, slipped past his lips. “Ushijima~ I want your big cock.”

“Oikawa,” the other male warned, but it was already too late. He was hard in his jeans. He cleared his throat quietly and glanced around, and Oikawa tugged at his sleeve. 

“I need to use the restroom. Why don’t you... come check on me in a few minutes, Wakatoshi, love?”

And with that, a slinky Oikawa slipped over Ushijima’s lap and disappeared quickly down the hallway to the front of the plane. Ushijima watched him go, his cock twitching in his pants at the sway of his boyfriend’s ample butt. He was truly worthy of being the idol of so many people; he was a dream to behold, perfect in so many ways. And, Ushijima thought, while some complained that Oikawa was too cocky, Ushijima found that part of him only more endearing. He couldn’t help looking down at his lap and smirking. God, he loved Oikawa.

After a few minutes, Daichi trading a worried look with him about Oikawa’s absence, he stood and moved to the front of the plane, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible with his large body. An air stewardess blushed at him as he nodded to her. He knocked on the first door, and it quickly opened and Ushijima was yanked inside. Immediately, he felt crowded; the space was insanely small for two tall men like him and Oikawa. He was pressed into the sink as Oikawa shut the door and locked it. His smell filled the whole space and Ushijima could feel the soft tingle of Oikawa’s soft hair against his nose. 

Oikawa breathed out his name. “What took you so long, idiot?!” he whined. Ushijima just smiled and rubbed a thumb over Oikawa’s puffy cheek. 

“You’re really cute,” he whispered with a very rare smile. Oikawa looked up and drank in the sight and words. He gripped at the front of Ushijima’s shirt and then suddenly his hands were under it and caressing over hard muscles and tanned skin. 

“And you’re gorgeous as fuck,” Oikawa growled. He leaned against Ushijima and their lips collided harshly. Oikawa tasted like chocolate and salt, probably because of the airplane snacks he’d had earlier, and Ushijima quickly cupped the back of his head and licked his fat tongue around the entirety of the other’s mouth. Oikawa’s hands groped at his pecs and his sides. He huffed against Ushijima’s lips and then pushed himself up taller still. Ushijima moved one hand and grabbed under his boyfriend’s butt, hoisting him up. 

“Is your knee okay?” he husked when Oikawa pulled his legs up onto the sink Ushijima sat on. He just hugged and grabbed Ushijima’s hair, pulling him back into a kiss. It was all hunger and raw desire. Ushijima rocked their hips together, the two discovering how plane turbulence could actually be a good thing, and they kissed until they couldn’t breathe. 

“Oikawa, -kawa,” Ushijima whispered over and over, but Oikawa was blindly ignoring him, lost in the need. Finally, he murmured, “Tooru, baby.”

Oikawa froze and slowly pulled back. His eyes were glazed over, lips wet and parted, and he looked so lost in desire, so blissed out on Ushijima. “Say it again, Toshi~” he whimpered. 

“Tooru. My love. Baby doll,” Ushijima hushed, his voice low and sexy. He knew just how much Oikawa loved this. 

Sure enough, the smaller male shivered in his arms. He pushed away from Ushijima in the small space and began wiggling off his tight pants. 

“Oikawa!” Ushijima yelped, watching with wide, scared eyes, but Oikawa was still being selectively deaf. “What are you doing?!”

Oikawa kept going. Then he turned and backed his butt against Ushijima’s hips, reaching back and pumping out a small lake of soap into his hand, lathering up his thighs. Then he breathed heavy and needy, “Wakatoshi, baby, fuck my thighs. Please~” He grabbed at Ushijima’s pants and tried to unbutton the jeans, lifting his shirt. Ushijima batted his arms away, and despite all of his better thoughts, he opened his pants and pulled out his erection. He took two fingers to the slick soap between Oikawa’s thighs and rubbed it on his cock, grabbing at Oikawa’s hips. He lifted him up and pulled him closer, his cock slipping between Oikawa’s pressed-together thighs so easily that it was almost sinful. He let out a sigh and dropped his forehead to Oikawa’s shoulder, and Oikawa let out a broken little gasp. His hand gripped behind them around Ushijima’s neck and his other pressed to the wall before them. 

“Don’t you dare go slow,” Oikawa warned darkly, and Ushijima heeded it. He put his own hand near Oikawa’s on the wall, stabilizing them both so they’d make the least amount of noise as he began thrusting between Oikawa’s well-slicked and beautifully muscular thighs. He’d done enough squats to be rewarded with a plump ass and magnificent thighs, thighs that were popular amongst even non-PSC fans. 

And Ushijima had the best view of said ass. He felt it when he pressed his stomach against his cheeks and watched them jiggle as he pulled back and thrust forward. And he was grazing over all the right spots for Oikawa too, the other having to bite on his shirt to keep still. 

Oikawa came with a high gasp, and Ushijima with a soft sigh. He slumped back against the plastic mirror and let Oikawa bustle around him as he cleaned off his thighs and the wall, as well as Ushijima’s legs and softening dick. He thought for a moment he should be embarrassed, but Oikawa just gazed at it in amazement. 

“It’s still so big, huh?” he whispered softly as he buttoned up Ushijima’s pants and then his own. 

“We should go back,” Ushijima whispered as Oikawa leaned up to kiss him again. 

“Mmhmm,” he hummed in agreement as he kissed Ushijima again. A few more kisses and then Ushijima raised his eyebrows. 

“Oikawa,” he murmured a little more urgently. 

“Mm,” Oikawa hummed again, another kiss.

Ushijima let him have two more and then reluctantly pushed Oikawa away. Instead of arguing anymore, knowing Oikawa could convince him to go another round, he slipped out of the bathroom, past a wide-eyed stewardess, and back to his seat. Oikawa slinked back a few minutes later, looking more normal and far more tired. As soon as he sat down, he pulled out a blanket and pillow and he was asleep without anymore complaining within a few minutes. 

Ushijima watched him sleep until he too was overcome with drowsiness. 

x

Life back in Korea settled into a predictable routine. Semi complained about the house becoming more empty as Kenma and Kageyama reveled in the quiet with Oikawa and Suga gone most every night. Sugawara spent his nights in Daichi’s bed while Oikawa spent them with Ushijima, right next door. And aside from Semi, no one was complaining. 

“Toshi,” Oikawa crooned one day as he sat in the man’s lap, held in his arms after a grueling practice day. His whole body ached and Ushijima was the only thing keeping him from turning to absolute jelly on the couch. 

Ushijima had his nose glued to a book and he hummed in response to Oikawa. 

“Baby, let’s go on a date.”

Ushijima read over the same line twice and then set his book down. “A date? Like, outside?”

Oikawa tossed his phone and turned towards his boyfriend. “Yeah!”

“Like outside where people know who you are, outside?”

Oikawa grinned wide and nodded enthusiastically. “We only spend time together inside and I want to experience an ordinary couple’s life!”

Ushijima blinked in confusion at Oikawa. “But you realize that you can’t be seen outside, especially not on a date, _especially_ not with a man!”

Soft palms pressed to Ushijima chest and Oikawa looked up at him through long lashes. “Babe, I’ve got a disguise all planned out. Just- please... I want to show you off even if no one knows it’s me.”

“It’s too dangerous. You know they won’t let us-“

“Kiyoko already said it was fine as long as I go out with you!” He beamed so wide and proud that Ushijima thought his face would split apart. But he had to relent; if he was being honest, he too wanted to do regular couple things with Oikawa, to show him off (in disguise), to be lovey-dovey and affectionate. He wanted to spoil Oikawa so badly it ached. 

“Just- swear your disguise will be really good,” Ushijima resigned. 

“I swear!” yelped Oikawa, and Ushijima thought it was worth it just for that adorable reaction. “Yay!” he grinned wide as he tossed his arms around Ushijima’s neck and kissed him deeply. 

When the kissing turned less light-hearted and more heavy, Oikawa pulled back with bleary eyes and whispered lowly, “Wakatoshi, darling, take me to the bedroom. Devour me please~”

Ushijima lifted him up easily and slowly made love to Oikawa that night. They fell asleep beside each other, and in the morning Ushijima made breakfast, to which Oikawa complained, pretending he didn’t absolutely love being treated like a prince. 

x

His disguise was good, Ushijima had to give him that. The taller man barely even recognized Oikawa when the boy knocked at his door. 

He’d made his chin and jaw softer, cheekbones rounder with skilled contouring and blush, soft pink gloss and lipstick on his full lips, and he wore a long, curled wig. Also, he was wearing a skirt and blouse, knee high socks and pink sneakers. Ushijima’s heart dropped in his chest when Oikawa cocked his hips and blew a kiss at him. 

“What the-“

“I told you my disguise would be good,” Oikawa winked. 

Ushijima stood frozen for a long time as he tried to sort out his feelings. Cause Oikawa in a skirt didn’t make him feel as unpleasant as he thought it should. In fact, he was quite enjoying the view. 

“Did you... are you wearing a bra?”

Oikawa grinned and grabbed at his fuller chest. “Silicone padding! Wanna feel?”

“Ah- no...” croaked Ushijima awkwardly. 

“Well, come on, Toshi, take me out!” Oikawa smiled a smile that said he deserved to be shown off, and Ushijima wholly agreed. Oikawa was... beautiful. 

He numbly slipped his shoes and jacket on and then stepped outside, the cold air reminding him this was reality. “Won’t you be cold in that?” Ushijima frowned, but then Oikawa grabbed onto his arm and his fake boobs squished against Ushijima’s bicep and he forgot everything. Oikawa beamed up at him and god, he wanted to kiss him. 

Instead, he stiffly walked Oikawa down to the garage and to one of the company cars. He took a moment to watch Oikawa as he pulled his seatbelt on, amazed, really, and he felt for the very first time that Oikawa was truly his boyfriend. He was truly the most incredible being on the planet. 

Oikawa caught his stare and grinned knowingly, stealing Ushijima’s breath away. 

_I love him, I love him. Even dressed like this, I love him so much._ If Ushijima’s thoughts showed on his face, Oikawa gave no indication that he noticed, and finally the other turned to start the car. 

The day flew by in a daze, movies and cafes and food truck treats, shopping and the arcade, and by the end Ushijima was convinced that Oikawa could do absolutely nothing wrong. He was perfect, a devilish angel that knew exactly how to make Ushijima’s heart pound. And all he could think about was tasting that lip gloss. 

Every opportunity slipped him by, until he parked the car back in the garage. Oikawa hopped out and his last hope crashed to kiss Oikawa before he climbed out of his getup, and he sat for a moment pouting, which was so uncharacteristic. 

The car door shut and Ushijima let out a sad little sigh, and a soft voice called, “You know I was waiting too.” His head whipped around so fast and there sat Oikawa, sad lips pouting. Ushijima thought he’d gotten out, but he’d slipped back into his seat and the other hadn’t even noticed. 

“Oikawa,” Ushijima breathed, drinking the other in in the harsh glow of fluorescent lights in a parking structure. But god, he was still absolutely breathtaking. He felt a little wrong for thinking so, but Oikawa was undeniably perfect. 

“Ushijima, don’t you think I’ve noticed how you’ve been watching me all day. God, it’s like you’ve been undressing me with your eyes and I just-“ Then, with wide eyes, Ushijima watched as Oikawa crawled up on his knees in the leather seat, pressed a hand to the front of his skirt and let out the lewdest moan. “Wakatoshi, please just kiss me, at least.”

His shoulders seemed so small as they shook lightly, his brown eyes staring up through long, thick lashes, even longer and thicker now than usual, and Ushijima shivered. “I thought you’d prefer to change first-“ he mumbled weakly, like Oikawa didn’t know that Ushijima wanted him just like that. But he was ashamed to admit that Oikawa was really turning him on, cross-dressing like this. He didn’t want to admit he was that kind of pervert. But Oikawa already knew, of course.

He crawled over the middle partition and into Ushijima’s lap, and god, he even smelled delicious. Ushijima looked up at Oikawa with excitement and unsureness, and Oikawa let out a small whine. “Fuck, Wakatoshi, I wouldn’t have dressed like this if I cared about you getting turned on by it. You’re always worried about me thinking you’re weird but you forget that I’m so gone for you, I’m such a slut for you- I don’t care what you want to do to me, because I want you all the time.” He let out a slow, shaky exhale, full of heated breath and desire, and Ushijima trembled. 

“Fuck, Oikawa,” he growled finally. The temperature in the car spiked higher and Oikawa mewled needily. Large, rough hands grabbed at his hips, though still so gentle, and Ushijima pulled Oikawa to his chest. Leaning down over him, their lips smacked together and Ushijima actually let out a small, desperate noise. 

With gentle hands, he explored Oikawa’s body, even giving his fake tits a squeeze, kissing him hungrily, licking his gloss straight off. He tasted and smelled like strawberries and vanilla, his long wig tickling Ushijima’s cheeks and neck. He cupped Oikawa’s face and caressed his warm cheek. 

At some point, Oikawa, who’d been grinding his hips to no avail, pulled back with a frustrated huff and scolded, “Toshi, be rougher! I’m not a girl!”

Ushijima blinked at him in confusion, glanced down at his body and then back up at his eyes. His dick tenting his skirt was enough to tell Ushijima that. “I know you’re not-“

But Oikawa cut him off with a desperate voice. “You’re always so gentle to me, and god, I just want you to wreck me!”

Ushijima blinked. “I don’t want to hurt you...”

Oikawa pulled at his big hands, pushed them up his blouse and against his waist. He whimpered. “You won’t. Please, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima gripped carefully at Oikawa’s soft skin, felt again how he was holding a national treasure, so fragile and beautiful, and he couldn’t bear to leave even a mark. He swallowed hard, wanting to please Oikawa but his body literally refusing. Oikawa saw this on his face and growled. 

“Okay,” he breathed low, threatening. Ushijima didn’t even have time to look back up at him when his hands were yanked up and back, his tie yanked harshly loose and then used to strongly tie his hands back behind his head rest. Oikawa pressed a button and Ushijima’s chair snapped back, and finally he realized what was happening. 

Oikawa was taking charge. A thrill like no other shot to Ushijima’s groin and he had to surpress a shiver of delight. Fuck, Oikawa looked so hot like this, face set in shadows and lips pressed together, his eyes burning with so much fire that Ushijima was beginning to sweat. 

Oikawa rolled his hips just right then, his hard cock grinding completely against Ushijima’s erection, and he let out the lewdest, most dominating mewl. His hands danced over his body, over his curves, and Ushijima was transfixed as Oikawa began to dance for him. He slowly removed his blouse, hips rolling. Above the high cut of the pleated skirt, Ushijima could see the movement of defined abs, of Oikawa’s rib cage. The silicone of the fake boobs jiggled softly with his movements and Ushijima’s gut clenched at the sight. Oikawa smirked and ran his hands over his lacey black bra. It stood so starkly again this pale skin, absolutely beautiful. His whole body, the clothes he wore had all been strategically chosen to accentuate his best features. The skirt rode up and the knee socks showed off thick thighs, the blouse that had hidden his biceps which now showed, his wide shoulders with black straps digging into them, black to pale white. His collarbones, shimmering with a bit of highlighter, were magnificent. Oikawa was a work of art, in anything, all the time. 

“Tooru,” Ushijima whispered, but Oikawa hushed him with a gentle finger to his lips. He let it linger a moment before slipping it inside Ushijima’s mouth, and Ushijima closed his eyes for a moment and immediately began suckling on the long digit. 

Oikawa’s other hand slipped down his torso and to the hem of his skirt, lifting it teasingly, hot eyes on Ushijima. Beneath the skirt, Oikawa wore lace panties, matching to his bra, his cock hard and the panties not even trying to cover his length. They mostly cupped his balls and Ushijima felt like he’d been punched in the gut. A long, low moan trembled past his throat. He closed his lips around Oikawa’s finger and suckled harder, eyelids fluttering as he tried to keep his eyes on the prize before him. 

Oikawa bit at the hem of the skirt, holding it up so Ushijima wouldn’t miss a thing, his hands skirting teasingly over his leaky cock. He reached past his balls and down between his legs. The taller male felt him shift, felt his hand graze over Ushijima’s hard cock, and then there was a quiet moan as Oikawa slipped a finger inside himself. His back arched and Ushijima was enraptured, but all too quickly he pulled it back out and dropped his skirt, hands beginning to mess with Ushijima’s buttoned jeans. 

Before he could utter a word, Oikawa cast his heated eyes back to him and he dove down to capture Ushijima’s lips. The kiss was filled with all the desire they both felt, lips rolling over each other for another taste, teeth scraping and nibbling, tongues meeting in a tango. Oikawa had Ushijima’s pants open before he knew it, cock out, and from his small backpack he produced a small tube, the contents cold on Ushijima’s heated member. 

“Ohh~!” he moaned into Oikawa’s mouth, the other drinking the sound whole. And when Oikawa began moving his hips for insertion, Ushijima pulled back with a loud yelp. 

“You haven’t even prepped yourself, don’t be crazy! And what about a condom?!”

Oikawa let out a low growl and he dragged his long nails over Ushijima’s neck and down his chest. Then with one mighty pull, he ripped his button-up open and dug his nails across tanned, mountainous skin. Ushijima yelped. 

“Wakatoshi, don’t you think,” Oikawa began in a low, even tone, “that I prepped myself before this date, that my ass isn’t wide open and aching, dripping for your cock. It’s so wet, it’s practically a pussy at this point, and you want me to wait even longer?” His fingers spread and slowly he applied weight to the hand, pushing Ushijima into the seat. His strength was phenomenal, and soon, Ushijima couldn’t have moved even if he wanted to. “Stop thinking I’m so fucking fragile, Wakatoshi. Maybe I want you to stretch me wide open in one go, thrust in so deep that I cum just from you entering me. Maybe I want your cock to pound me so hard I scream. I kept telling you... to be tougher with me... but you wouldn’t listen, so now- just sit there and watch.”

And then he sank down on Ushijima’s dick like the true cock slut he was. And from his lips fell the most enticing cry, and Ushijima let out a curse. 

“Fuck, sorry, Oikawa,” he husked ever so quietly, drinking all of his lover in as the man took him deep inside without stopping or hesitation. And fuck, he was tight. Ushijima could tell that he wasn’t as loose as he should have been, but that didn’t diminish the look of pure pleasure on Oikawa’s face at all. 

When he was fully seated, he rolled his head back down and whispered emotionally, “Fuck, I love your cock so much.”

Ushijima’s arms ached to hold Oikawa, to feel him, but Oikawa arched his back, began rolling his shoulders and hips as he fucked himself on Ushijima’s member. He kept one hand pressed to Ushijima’s chest, nails digging pleasantly painful into his tan skin, his other lifting up his skirt like a baby, and Ushijima was mesmerized by the way Oikawa’s cock bounced and leaked like crazy. His whole dick was slick with his pre-cum, his panties soaked and wetting Ushijima’s stomach. And still it didn’t stop. 

And neither did Oikawa’s mouth. The windows were now completely fogged up, but any passerby would have heard the loud, lewd sounds that Oikawa was making. He rocked the car with his rapid thrusting, and there was no question that two people were fucking inside. 

Oikawa’s skin grew flushed and his moans came higher and higher, and then, like he couldn’t take it anymore, he clawed off his bra and wig, tossed them into the backseat, his nails raking over his pale skin like he wanted to crawl out of that too, and Ushijima could hear the build of his orgasm with every higher cadence of Oikawa’s moans. 

And fuck if this wasn’t the best sex Ushijima had ever had, not just with Oikawa, but with anyone. He pulled at the restraints of his tie, but Oikawa had knotted it well. He was distracted as hell, but somehow he managed to untie the knot, and then his hands flew to Oikawa’s hips. The other gasped high and loud, eyes flying open. He gripped at Ushijima’s biceps and yelped his name. 

“Wakatoshi~” he begged like he was scared the other was going to make him go slow, but Ushijima was way past that. He dug his stubby nails into Oikawa’s fragile skin, watched the red bloom as Oikawa’s eyes snapped wide and he cried out. He pulled Oikawa down hard, hips snapping up, and Oikawa tossed his head back and _screamed_. He came hot and heavy all over Ushijima’s chest, but the other wasn’t done with him. 

“Not yet, Tooru,” he growled out threateningly, and Oikawa whimpered, his pupils blowing wide, mouth drooling. His expression was so blissed out, like this was all he’d ever really wanted. He clung upright to Ushijima, straining his muscles to hold on as Ushijima took him for a ride. 

Halfway through, he was sobbing, drooling, his face a mess, screaming Ushijima’s name like he couldn’t get enough, like he wasn’t wrecked enough, and when Ushijima finally came deep inside him, Oikawa let out the most chilling shrill, Ushijima’s cock twitching wildly inside his ass in response. 

“Fuck you, Oikawa,” he growled, but god, he’d loved it so much. Oikawa fell against his shoulder and giggled weakly. 

“I’d say you did. Very well, in fact.” All the pride in the world was in Oikawa’s voice, and Ushijima’s heart swelled at the sound of it. He held Oikawa’s hips down, making sure Oikawa felt how full Ushijima had made him, his other arm circling his back and pulling his chest to him. Soft lips kissed at his collarbone. 

“Fuck, Oikawa. Sorry I didn’t get it until now. You’re not fragile at all.”

He felt Oikawa smile against his skin, lips moving up to suckle at his neck. He crooned. “Was it good?” he asked like he didn’t know the answer, his voice a little insecure.

“Yeah,” Ushijima breathed back heavy. “Really, really good.”

Oikawa keened and smiled, nipping at Ushijima’s neck. “Did you like my outfit, Ushi-chan?” he sang sweetly.

“Fuck yeah.” There was no point pretending he hadn’t been hella turned on. 

“God, I’m so glad-“ Oikawa suddenly whimpered in a petrified voice. His words broke on a sob. “I was so scared you wouldn’t like it, or that you’d think it was weird. I used the disguise thing as a lie; I just wanted to dress up for you...” Oikawa shook in Ushijima’s arms, and Ushijima moved quicker than lightning to wrap his boyfriend up in his arms. 

“How could I ever think those things, when I’m so in love with you and everything you do.”

Oikawa froze stiff and he whimpered. “Again, Toshi,” he pleaded in the smallest voice. 

“I love you, Tooru.” Oikawa let out a high sob and Ushijima continued. “I fucking adore you. You’re my whole world, my entire life. You’re so perfect, you could never do anything to make me leave you. Don’t you dare fucking forget how much I love you to bits and pieces. All of you, Oikawa, I want to know it all.”

Oikawa let out broken sound after sound that sent Ushijima’s heart in a tizzy, and he didn’t think he knew enough words to properly explain how much he treasured and loved his boyfriend. 

“Oikawa, someday, won’t you marry me? Let’s live together just the two of us; let’s tell the whole world. Let’s have babies and grow old together. Let me make you the happiest man alive.”

Oikawa’s nails dug hard into Ushijima’s back and he wailed, tears soaking Ushijima’s shoulder. He kissed him softly, his ear and messy hair, his heated cheek and peek of forehead. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, Oikawa Tooru. I’ll never, ever let you go.”

“I’ll always be yours?” Oikawa sobbed out. 

“Always. As long as you’ll have me.”

“I’ll always want you around!” Oikawa sat up, his face a beautiful mess, and Ushijima cupped his cheeks, wiped his tears and kissed him. He moaned at his taste, at the taste that was so Oikawa, heat and strawberries and salty tears. There was no one who could dream to compete with Oikawa anymore, because the man had stolen Ushijima’s whole heart and his every sense. 

“I love you so much, Wakatoshi. I lo-love you-!” He hiccuped over his words and more tears spilled. His make-up was a little smeared, his skirt laying wrinkled and wet over their laps, but god, he was a picture of perfection. “If you ever leave me, I’ll d-die-!”

Ushijima couldn’t help but giggle at that, and Oikawa blinked wide and shocked at him. In the softest, warmest voice, Ushijima whispered, “That would never happen, my love.”

Oikawa melted against him and hugged him tight. “Take me upstairs. I want to do it again, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima’s first reaction was to say that Oikawa needed rest, but he wouldn’t deny that he wanted to fuck Oikawa tonight until the sun came up, and he wouldn’t deny Oikawa anything anymore, so he just nodded. With his blouse and skirt as fixed as possible, Ushijima’s jacket over his shoulders and his wig and bag in his arms, his face wiped clean, they walked back up to the apartment, slipping inside Ushijima’s dark one. 

They never saw the camera flash. 

x

“Shit,” whispered Ushijima as he stared in horror at his laptop screen. He sat by the kitchen counter, and at his curse, Bokuto walked past and peeked over his shoulder.

“Uh oh,” the other breathed. 

A rapid knock came and Bokuto went to let their guest in. When Ushijima turned and saw Oikawa, clutching his phone in one hand, he breathed out a, “Fuck, Oikawa, I’m so sorry.”

But Oikawa broke into a wide grin, then a giggle, and finally full blown laughter. When he’d calmed down a little, he straightened up and wiped his eye, and he whispered huskily, “Isn’t this great, Ushijima?”

“...Wha-?!”

Oikawa tackled him in a hug and he watched Bokuto slip out of the apartment, but he was too dumbfounded to process anything. 

“Oikawa, they took a photo of us together, coming inside here-“

“So? The picture doesn’t show anything. You can’t even see your face! But now, now we don’t have to worry so much.”

“But they’re saying terrible things, that you’re gay and that I-“

Oikawa pulled back and frowned. “Is it really so terrible, that they’re saying I’m gay? I mean, it’s only the truth.”

“But what about your career-!”

Oikawa just giggled. “Don’t you think the fans will eat this shit up? We’ll be more popular than ever!”

“That’s pandering-!”

“No, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa whispered slowly. “No, it’s just me being me. And if our fans love us, they’ll love us all the more for being true to ourselves. I’ve already seen- Look!” He pulled back and turned his phone to Ushijima. It was a selfie of Oikawa, part of Ushijima’s chest, a cropped photo of one of their selfies, which Oikawa had posted just a while ago on his Instagram. The caption was short and sweet. “I love him and I hope you will respect and love me still. I will work harder for my fans <3”

And there were so many comments, so many that kept coming and coming, and everyone’s words repeated the same message: we love you, we support you, we want you to be happy. Thank you for telling us the truth.

And there was Oikawa’s face, beaming at him over the screen of his phone. Ushijima let out a shaky breath and pulled Oikawa into his arms. 

“You’re so much braver than I could ever be, and I love you so much, Tooru.”

Oikawa giggled a high note and then fell silent as he clung to Ushijima. “You’re the one who makes me so brave,” he whispered quietly into Ushijima’s chest. “I love you, Wakatoshi, more than you’ll ever know.”

Ushijima beamed wide, a foreign feeling but so natural with Oikawa, and he pressed his nose into soft, sweet hair. 

He would love this man forever and a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but here’s the second part for those who requested it and everyone else who never asked but got it anyways ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure if I’ll write the sex for this, but let me know if you guys want a part two. I may or may not write Bokuto and Akaashi’s story as well. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Tumbler: bealovelylady


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